Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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