i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
