This show inspires me to have sex in space
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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