i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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