he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
