the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
