Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
soo... how was my night?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
