I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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