Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Is Oprah even human
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
