I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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