The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
