I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
