I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
