how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
