I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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