The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
