i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
