so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
