Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
