Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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