Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
