this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
