She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
