I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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