i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
