I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
