i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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