Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
