So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
