..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
