what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
