I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
