I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
