Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
