I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
