Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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