We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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