Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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