dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
