So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
