come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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