And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
