her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i out mim tonsoeep
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