Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
