We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
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