He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
