I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
