I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
