I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize