These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
