So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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