Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
