none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
