wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
