I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
