I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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