And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
