Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
