so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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