The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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