I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
