Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
