Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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